I don’t have the patience to read a gay erotic romance, so I’m not sure how far Peter’s anatomically outrageous smut lies from such a genre. If I take out a lot of explicit description and replace it with euphemisms, will these otherwise romantic HEA stories be something of interest to a wider reading populace?
Here’s my concern – Peter’s stories are all centered around the phallus, whether huge or tiny (and rarely anything in between). American society has such a phobia of the penis. Hollywood can easily show a nude woman, front and back, but they get an X-rating if they show an erect penis. If the penis is soft, it’s still NC-17, as if this magnificent organ were far more shameful than war and murder.
So my fear, of course, is that I have to leave the penis in there, or the whole story falls apart. So much of the plot is driven by the loneliness or shame that men feel when their privates don’t conform to the norm. Can I successfully write Big Dick Romance, or will I have to leave Peter’s works in their current gut-pounding gay pulp genre? Should I write as a woman? It’s not that I need to make a lot of money; I just want to feel like I have a true readership who is excited for my next romance.
We found a terrific Peter Schutes novel in an unopened suitcase. The premise is that a young man with a little penis meets a demon who he believes to be the Devil. The demon promises him the biggest dick in town in exchange for his soul. What the protagonist doesn’t realize is that it will change in size and shape depending on what town he’s in! It came with a clause, too. Nobody will remember him for more than a few minutes.
Peter didn’t leave any clue as to a title. Our intern came up with “The Monkey’s Pudendum” but it’s just not clever enough. So you, dear reader, are the lucky ones who get to suggest a title. In exchange, you will win a free copy of the paperback when it comes out. (Or ebook if you prefer not to give your snail mail address).
So put on your thinking caps and send up to three suggestions for the title to this ironic tale.
PLEASE POST YOUR TITLE SUGGESTION(S) IN THE COMMENTS SECTION. THE BEST TITLE WILL BE USED FOR THE BOOK AND THE WINNER WILL GET A FREE COPY OF THE PAPERBACK OR EBOOK.
Hobo Honey – a free erotic novella set in the hobo jungles of Depression-era United States.
Riding the rails was no life for a beauty like Fred Talmadge. His face was too pretty to be covered in all that soot. Riding from Dallas to St. Louis, he shared a boxcar with a thick hunk of meat named Idaho Jones. Idaho felt protective of the pretty boy with nowhere else to go. Hobos don’t get a lot of sex, and when they do, it isn’t always mutually consensual. It’s almost always with other hobos. No women hang out in the hobo jungles or ride the rails except for a few bull dykes. Idaho preferred women, but only if they preferred him. He hadn’t been with a woman in a long time. Freddy was starting to look mighty appealing. But Idaho was a hobo with principles. He would never take advantage of a young soul. But if Fred wanted it, Idaho would be happy to give it to him.
Idaho was the humble owner of a gigantic cock. Hanging nearly to his knees, the monster, as he called it, was enough to scare away even the most cock-hungry slut out there. He had met a few loose women who could take him halfway. They never walked right afterwards.
Fred interrupted Idaho’s thoughts. “You got a cigarette, sir?”
“Call me Idaho, son. Yeah, Lucky Strikes means fine tobacco.” He held out the pack and Fred gently removed one cigarette.
“You got a light?”
Idaho chuckled and flicked his Zippo, holding the flame out for Fred to suck. That boy sure had beautiful lips. Idaho would like to kiss him but he stuck to the code of the road. Fred wasn’t making it easy for him, though. The boy held Idaho’s hand to steady the flame; the touch of another human being was rare.
“Thanks, Idaho. Damn, your hands are huge!” Fred caressed Idaho’s mitts. They were rough against the smooth touch of the young man.
Idaho looked the kid up and down. He had apple cheeks and bright blue peepers. On top of his head was a curly mop of black hair. He had a thin mustache and a scraggly beard so faint you could only see it in the sunlight.
The older hobo felt a stirring in his loins. His gigantic cock swelled involuntarily. He cleared his throat and withdrew his hands. He saw Fred’s face fall.
“You don’t like me touching you, do you?”
Idaho shook his head. “It’s not that. It’s complicated.”
Fred batted his pretty eyelashes. “Let’s uncomplicate things.” He reached over and felt for Idaho’s cock. He found it and grinned.
“Holy shit, that’s thick!”
Idaho nodded, awaiting the inevitable withdrawal of the offer.
“Can I see it?”
This was torture. The kid would probably agree to a hand job, but Idaho liked fucking. This was The reason he rode the rails in the first place. He was so sick of being rejected for being too big. Away from society, it rarely happened. But here it was, and it was happening.
Fred said, “Oh come on man, I really wanna see it!”
Idaho shrugged. The faster he got this over with, the better. He stood, holding on to the side of the boxcar, and unfastened his overalls, letting them drop. His manhood was half hard, swinging back and forth with the rocking of the train. “There. What do you think?”
Fred’s eyes hung open like a jaw on a cartoon cat. “Fucking huge. You’re the biggest I ever seen. And I’ve seen a lot!”
Idaho wanted this hand to fold. “So can I fuck you?”
Fred pulled out a tub of Vaseline. “I hope there’s enough in here!”
The old hobo wasn’t expecting things to progress. He didn’t want to hurt this frail beauty of a young man. The kid was so eager, it confused him. “If you’ve never seen one so big, what makes you think you can take it?”
Fred put a glob of Vaseline at the base of Idaho’s cock, and stroked. Soon the thick meat was glistening. For good measure, the boy spit in his hands to make the cock even more slippery. He spit in his hand and rubbed it on his pink hole. “I had a lot of other stuff in there. Fists and arms. I learned to love it in school. I can take it.”
Idaho grew faint as the blood rushed to his cock, which, despite gravity, stuck straight out. It was over a foot long. One in a billion. He grinned at the kid, who smiled back before getting on his knees, his head buried in his arms, giving Idaho a straight shot.
The massive man took one knee and bumped his cock head against the boy’s pink box. Fred held the tip and shoved it inside. Idaho was astonished at how easily the head went in. He leaned forward, forcing more of his gigantic meat inside the kid’s shitter. The boy let out a cry of pain.
Idaho tried to pull back, but the boy held his cock firmly and forced more and more inside his hole.
“Go all the way, man, I can take it.”
Idaho shrugged. Fuck it. The kid would scream and it would all be over. He walked forward on his knees, pushing inch after inch into the bottomless hole.
Fred shrieked like a schoolgirl. “Yes! Yes! Keep going! Deeper!”
Idaho was halfway in, much further than he usually got. He was glad he’d showered at the public pool that morning. There he got a lot of stares but no takers. Now he was halfway to paradise.
“Is it all the way in?”
“Nope. I got another six or seven inches to go.”
“Oh fuck, Idaho, you’re so fucking huge. You’re making me wet.”
Idaho glanced down at the boy’s tiny shriveled penis. Sure enough, it was dripping with semen, forced out by the pressure of his thick cock against the prostate. This made him even harder. He had reached the end of the kid’s poop chute. He felt pressure build as he pressed against the back wall.
Then the kid did something amazing. He twisted to one side, and suddenly his cock popped through an opening. It made an audible ‘pop!’ as it broke through. At first, Idaho thought he might have torn the poor boy open.
“What happened? Are you okay?”
Fred laughed. He lifted his head and turned back to stare at Idaho. “You popped through the second hole. Go for it! I’m all yours.”
Idaho nearly cried for joy as he slid another four inches of flesh into the boy. When he realized there was no resistance, he went the whole way. Just as his hips touched the boy’s ass cheeks, his cock bumped into another wall.
“Yes! That’s it! You got to the second wall! Keep pushing!”
Idaho only had an inch or two left. The boy spread his cheeks far apart, allowing the older man to bury himself to the hilt. His rough pubic hairs tickled the boy’s butt. He withdrew a couple of inches and slammed in hard.
“Harder! Don’t hold back! I need it, man!”
Idaho lifted the boy by his stomach to allow him to fuck in and out hard and fast. To his surprise, he could feel his own cock as it slithered up the boy’s hole.
“Watch this.” Fred grabbed Idaho’s shoulder and rotated until he was facing his lover. Now Idaho could see the outline of his cock as it forced its way to places most men never knew existed. The kid had talent.
To his surprise, Fred lifted himself until their lips met. They kissed passionately as Idaho pounded away. He took shallow strokes at first, but when the kisses grew more intense, he increased the length of his stroke, popping out of the second hole and back in. Each time, he heard that popping noise that sounded a little like someone smacking a bare butt.
Idaho let a few tears of joy escape. They traveled down his face, joining the kiss as a salty surprise.
Fred looked at Idaho. “Why are you crying?”
“You’ve made me so happy!”
The kid grinned. “Fucking is the best. Everybody wins!” Idaho noticed how his stubble had reddened the boy’s mouth to match his apple cheeks. He also felt his hairy tummy growing wet from the boy’s precum. The tiny penis was hard now. It felt like a thumb as it pressed up against him.
Idaho closed his eyes and started fucking the way he had always wanted to, but never could until now. When he opened his eyes, sweat pouring down his face, he saw the boy’s eyes glazed over with ecstasy. The kid’s mouth moved, but no words came out. Idaho needed to stop worrying about him. It was time for him to be selfish. His powerful hips rocked back and forth like a locomotive. The length of his strokes brought his cock head all the way to the boy’s asshole and then all the way to the second wall in less than a second. It was far too powerful for a normal person. Fred wasn’t normal.
“You okay?” He thought he should ask.
The kid made the OK symbol with his thumb and forefinger. His head lolled from side to side in time with the rocking of the caboose.
Idaho was close. He could feel his cock leaving slippery trails of precum in Fred’s ass. His balls churned as though they were a living creature. They pulled up tightly against Fred’s cock, preparing for the upcoming parade of semen.
“You ready, son?”
Fred nodded. “Yes, Daddy.”
That word was just too much for Idaho. “Oh fuck! I’m gonna come!”
“Yeah, I’m gonna come.”
Fred said, “Me too.”
And without touching himself, the boy shot a massive load from his tiny dick, hitting Idaho on the chin, and covering his face and the floor behind him with the sticky mess.
“Unhhh!” Idaho was beyond words now. He erupted, spewing molten lava deep inside the boy. After eight squirts, he was still going. All told, he shot thirteen times during this one orgasm.
The kid leaned back. His smile was a reward. Idaho had never finished up a fuck with a smiling partner. They usually made horrible grimaces and looked away. And these were women who could only take half of him. They didn’t have another hole for him to fuck deeper. This boy did.
Idaho was about to pull away. The boy grabbed his arm.
“Don’t. Stay inside me. Let’s do it again.”
The words were an aphrodisiac. His spent cock sprang to life again, buried inside the boy. The kid reached up and rubbed Idaho’s furry chest, tracing circles around the nipples before he pinched both of them very hard. Nobody had ever done that to Idaho before. He was startled by how much it turned him on.
“Keep doing that while I fuck you.”
There it was again. That word. He jackrabbit in and out in shallow strokes until he was fully hard, then switched to longer strokes. Pop! The cock pushed in and out of the second hole. The boy was nearly torturing his tits. But it was the least he could do to let him, since he was giving him such a merciless fucking. With one hand on Idaho’s nipple, Fred reached around and put a wet finger against the man’s hole. He wormed his finger inside. It was painful, but Idaho allowed it. He never understood how any guy could stand to be fucked. But Fred clearly loved it. Between the nipple and the finger, he was hurting a little. Then Fred pressed against his prostate. Idaho’s mind was blown. He spread more precum throughout the kid’s guts. It came in buckets.
“Shit! That feels so good.”
Fred nodded. “I know. How about now?”
Fred snuck a second finger in, allowing him to press even harder while he stretched Idaho’s hole. Idaho was a confident man. But this boy had him doubting his masculinity. He had never let anyone inside him like that. It was like being a woman. But if felt really good. With each additional finger, Idaho felt his inhibitions lift. He wanted the boy to penetrate him. His little cock wouldn’t be able to, but his hand sure could. He gasped when the thumb joined its fingers inside him. Fred pushed his Vaseline coated fist into Idaho. Each time Idaho drew back, he got a fistful of fingers. Fred was persistent and talented. Once his hand popped in, he didn’t let it out. He just let each stroke Idaho took help him bury his fist deeper inside the man.
Pretty soon, it was Fred who was doing all the fucking. Idaho stayed buried deep inside the boy who was forearm deep. The older man could feel as the pretty boy pushed his fist through the second hole, and heard the same popping noise he heard earlier.
Fred fucked Idaho hard with his arm, popping in and out of the second hole with abandon. Idaho was still rock hard, and close to coming again. The pressure at his prostate was pushing out a lot of clear sticky liquid. When Fred got to the elbow, Idaho had an orgasm. It wasn’t his cock. He was quivering hard inside. His ass was coming. He writhed upon the boy’s arm, feeling his fingers tickling his guts somewhere deep inside.
“Oh fuck man! Fuck!”
Fred punched hard, coming all the way out of Idaho’s hole then going elbow deep. It was both excruciating and exquisite. The pain and the pleasure could not be separated out. They became one. Suddenly, the older man’s balls pulled up tight.
Fred nodded. He pulled his fist out of Idaho and leaned back, enjoying the hot sticky sensation as the cum pooled deep inside him. Idaho couldn’t believe how hard and how much he came, even more than the first time. He felt a hot spray on his furry tummy and realized that Fred had come a second time as well, again without touching himself.
“How do you do that?”
Fred shrugged. “It’s just one of my many talents.”
Idaho looked Fred Talmadge in the eyes. “Will you do that again for me?”
“I was just going to ask you the same thing, after bumming a cigarette.”
The young hobo and his older companion rode the rails together. In the hobo jungles, they always found an out-of-the-way place to fuck and fist. The youth was father to the man in all things sexual. He showed him pleasures most of us only dream about.
One night Idaho asked, “What do you want to do with your life?”
Fred answered, “I’m ambitious. I want to keep doing this forever.”
Idaho had a good friend who rode along the Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe lines. His nickname was “Dumbo” because he had a cock that hung down like a baby elephant trunk. The two had commiserated over the impossibility of finding anyone. For a while, they had a convenient friendship: they jacked each other off. It was hard work, but it was easier than jacking themselves off. The touch of someone else’s hand slicked up with spit, with eyes closed, was a turn-on. Kissing made it feel like sex.
One day in the Kansas City rail yards, Idaho and Fred bumped into Dumbo. He would know those smoldering green eyes and chiseled jaw anywhere.
“Idaho! How the fuck you been?”
“Good, Dumbo. Real good.” He motioned with his eyes to his lover. “This here’s Fred.”
“Fred, Fred Talmadge, sir.” The boy shook the handsome man’s hand. It was a beautiful hand, worthy of a Dorothea Lange photograph. It told a hundred stories in its cracks and crevices.
“Dumbo. Dumbo Colman.” His eyes lingered on the pretty boy’s red lips. In a dress, he could pass as a girl. “So how do you know a sonofabitch like Idaho?”
Fred blushed. “He, uh. He’s—“
Idaho cut in. “We’re running buddies. We look out for each other.”
Dumbo frowned. “How does a dainty fellow like Fred here look out for you?”
Fred and Idaho exchanged glances. Fred nodded.
“Well, Fred here is the only guy in the lower 48 who can take me.”
Dumbo’s jaw dropped. “That’s impossible. You’re even bigger than me.”
Idaho shrugged. “Miracles can happen.”
Dumbo frowned. “Does this mean we’re not gonna ‘take care of each other’ like we used to?”
Idaho knew Fred would do anything he told him to do. He was supposed to protect the young man, but he also wanted to do Dumbo a favor. “I’m sure we can work something out.”
* * *
Fred knew what was in Idaho’s mind. He was satisfied beyond all reason with his lover’s monstrous cock nearly splitting him open every night. But he was ambitious. He always wanted something more. Fred knew if he didn’t speak up, he might miss an opportunity.
“Why do they call you Dumbo?”
The man didn’t say anything, just dropped his dungarees, exposing an elephantine cock that wasn’t nearly as thick as Idaho’s, but it was definitely longer. It dangled to his knee half hard.
Fred swallowed and looked at his lover. “Idaho, if you want to let Dumbo fuck me, I wouldn’t mind.”
Idaho smiled. “I think you’ll enjoy it.” He dug in his napsack and gave the Vaseline to Fred.
Fred studied his lover to see if there were traces of jealousy in his smile. No, it was different. Idaho and Dumbo had once belonged to each other. It was a deeper love than just sex. They had been companions. Idaho just wanted to share his good fortune. That’s what the smile said.
The boxcar was half full of hay, which made for a comfortable ride. Fred put Dumbo’s cock in his mouth because he could. He went down until the head popped past his tonsils and rubbed his larynx. He looked over at Idaho, who had his big cock out, stroking it with two hands.
“Wish you could do that with me.”
Fred shrugged. He couldn’t talk with Dumbo’s trunk blocking his windpipe. The long cock was growing a little thicker, probably from the excitement of having a mouth to fuck. Fred came up fast, spitting in his hand and rubbing it on his asshole. Dumbo turned him around and stuck his tongue in the boy’s hole.
When he took a break, he said, “Your Uncle Dumbo’s gonna fuck you from here to next Christmas. You want that?”
Idaho never did this. Idaho was good, but Dumbo was introducing him to a new kind of pleasure. Fred’s eyes rolled back in his head.
“I want it. I want it bad.”
Dumbo took a glob of Vaseline and wiped his cock with it before putting his greasy fingers into Fred’s sopping wet hole. They slipped in like two prairie dogs returning to their burrow.
“Damn, Idaho. You tore this kid up. His ass is wider than a pussy.”
Idaho grinned. “You’ll thank me in a little while.”
Fred wiggled his ass. He wanted Dumbo inside him real bad. Dumbo took two steps away from the little haystack over which Fred was slumped.
“You ready boy?”
Fred nodded. His tiny cock was already dribbling with anticipation. “Fuck me, sir.”
Dumbo was hesitant just like Idaho had been. Fred wanted all of the man inside him. He was thick, but Idaho was thicker. Fred surprised Dumbo when he guided his long cock through the second hole.
Dumbo hesitated. “Keep going?”
Fred had to stifle a sigh. “Fuck me all the way, Uncle.”
The handsome green-eyed drifter rammed his cock all the way inside. He began to take long strokes that tickled. Fred had become so used to having a cock like a tin of beans, that this beer can cock landed like a feather. The tickling caused Fred to spasm. His insides went insane. Until this moment, Fred hadn’t ever experienced anal orgasm like Idaho had done. Dumbo was an artist.
Fred’s eyes turned white. His body bucked and jerked. His innards clamped down on and let go of the invading cock over and over. Fred had felt this on his arm when Idaho had an ass orgasm, so he knew what Dumbo was experiencing when the handsome hobo said, “Holy shit!”
In ecstasy, Fred only managed to say, “Oh, that’s it” over and over. He caught Idaho’s eye. The two had gotten very intimate in the previous months. They could read each other’s minds. Fred jerked his head, inviting Idaho to join in the fun.
Fred pushed Dumbo on his back, riding him like a cowboy, but facing away from him. He leaned back, lifting his legs, giving Idaho a passageway to paradise. The hulking drifter heaved his rock hard monster skyward, letting it fall on Fred’s tiny crotch. Fred cried out. Even tiny balls can hurt big.
Idaho pulled back and inserted the tip, feeling Dumbo’s thrusts against his cock head.
Idaho looked into Fred’s eyes. “Are you sure?”
Fred nodded. “Fuck me, Daddy. I need it all.” Then Fred felt the worst pain since his first sexual experience, which was more rape than sex. But this was different. Fred invited Idaho in. He knew it would hurt, and he knew he would get used to it. With each additional inch from Idaho, the pain worsened. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe it wouldn’t get better. But it did.
* * *
The two old friends bumped balls while they shared the boy’s hole. Out of phase with their thrusts, the rubbing and friction varied, making Idaho shudder. Dumbo moaned from below. Hearing his old flame made Idaho horny. He sped up his thrusts, caressing Fred’s chest. Fred’s eyes went glassy. Idaho worried he might be doing damage.
“Does it hurt?”
Fred shook his head.”Not any more.” Then his eyes glazed over again. Idaho knew not to interrupt the kid in a fugue state.
Idaho grunted. Dumbo grunted louder. The two friends growled and snarled in short bursts. Fred whined and bleated.
The older men’s cocks were intertwined inside the boy, so they had to move together as one. Idaho could feel Dumbo’s cock pulsing in time with him. It was the closest the two old friends had ever been. Idaho kissed Fred, then leaned to the right and kissed Dumbo. He remembered the taste of his mouth and the shape of his long tongue. They stayed that way a long time. Then Idaho straightened up and kissed his young lover who was more like a son than a comrade. Fred twisted Idaho’s nipples. It was a signal that he wanted him to come.
Idaho tapped Dumbo on the leg. The green-eyed traveler understood it was time. They picked up the pace, creating a flesh jackhammer boring its way through Fred’s guts. Fred leaned back, resting his back against Dumbo’s furry chest. He turned and kissed him. Idaho joined in; they were in a three-way lip lock.
It began to rain. Idaho looked up and got an eyeful of Fred’s cum. The boy had tiny balls but they could churn out more cum than Idaho. When Dumbo realized he was being showered with hands-free boy cum, he lost control.
“Fuck, I’m coming!” Dumbo twitched and jerked.
The movements sent Idaho over the edge. “Me too. Me too.”
And in perfect sync, the two old friends unloaded their balls into the young man.
“Shoot inside me Daddy. Fill me up, Uncle Dumbo.”
Idaho went to that place where guys go when they come. The world melted around him until he was the only one there. He held onto Fred’s tiny hand with his big mitts, anchoring him to Earth.
Dumbo was longer than Idaho, so his cum was further up the colon. Idaho coated his friend’s cock head with his shooting cum. What goes up must come down. Idaho felt his own cum flowing back to him. Then he felt Dumbo’s cum coat his cock head and squeeze its way into any possible crevice left in the stuffed sausage that was his lover. When the two friends pulled out, a rivulet of cum gushed out of the boy’s stretched hole. They laughed when they saw how Dumbo’s cock had wrapped around Idaho’s like a two strand braid. It took them a moment to disentangle their cocks. Fred was on his back in the hay, adding a little white gravy to some horse’s meal. His ass was open so wide, Idaho could see the lining of his rectum. It was bright red. The dark flaps of skin on either side of his hole looked like pussy lips.
“You ain’t gonna hear your farts for a month,” said Dumbo.
The three men agreed on an itinerary that would get them to the town of Santa Fe, which had the best hobo jungle west of the Mississippi. They slept in the hay, exhausted from sex.
* * *
At dawn, the train slowly rolled through East Colorado. Fred slept with his hand on Idaho’s heart and his head on Dumbo’s chest. The two men awoke before Fred. They brewed some coffee on Dumbo’s camp stove then made scrambled eggs.
“Fred, the eggs are getting cold.”
The kid was passed out. He’d really taken a beating the day before. He wouldn’t wake up for a few more hours. Idaho had good news.
“Dumbo, I’ve been practicing with Fred. I think I can take you.”
Dumbo wore a puzzled expression. “But—“ he gestured towards Fred’s little penis.
Idaho clenched his fingers and held up a fist. A light went on in his friend’s noggin.
“Idaho, do you really think you can take it?”
“Only one way to find out.”
The little haystack was occupied with the sleeping beauty. Dumbo pulled down an unopened bale. Idaho lay with his back flat, lifting his legs in the air. He handed the tub of Vaseline to Dumbo, who took care of business. The green-eyed hobo spit in his palm and gave his semi-hard cock a few tugs until it was slick. He didn’t know it, but he had the kind of cock that is made for fucking ass, if it were a normal size. The head was smaller than the shaft, which turned his hardon into a missile. The overlong cock was thicker in the middle and tapered as it disappeared into the pubic bush. This meant that once he passed the middle, Idaho’s ass would actually pull him in deeper as the butthole tightened.
Dumbo spit in his hand and wiped it on Idaho’s greased-up ass. He put a couple fingers in, surprised by how loose and elastic his friend was.
“Fred did this?”
“Can he do it for me?”
Idaho said, “I don’t see why not. But first things first. Fuck me.”
Dumbo took a few steps back to position his head at the hole. He went slow until he realized that Idaho wasn’t giving any kind of resistance. He shrugged, then walked forward, watching his lengthy cock disappear inside his friend’s ass. The feeling of rubbing up against the second hole and then popping through was exquisite. He was glad that Idaho had found a young lover, but he still carried a flame for his old jack off buddy. When he was all the way in, he smacked Idaho’s ass.
“Shit, Idaho, you’re so loose it’s like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.”
Idaho smiled. “I kinda overdid it these past few months. You can fuck me hard and it won’t hurt.”
Dumbo had a long journey to pull back and push back in. He started with little dog humps and progressed to locomotive style pounding. His cock head was small, so it didn’t make the popping sound, but the middle of his thick cock did if he fucked fast enough. Idaho pulled his friend close. He kissed him, looking straight into his eyes.
Idaho said, “I love you, old friend.”
Dumbo smiled. “I know.”
While Fred slept, the two men fucked with abandon. Dumbo had remained a virgin until the day before, so he was still learning the ropes. When he had been tangled up in Idaho’s fat cock, he learned a few techniques from his friend. But Dumbo’s dick was different, and he needed to find his moves. When he pulled back further than anticipated, the fat center of his cock passed through the second hole, making a little popping sound.
Idaho said, “Yes! Right there! Oh Jesus right there! Do it again! Again!”
Dumbo looked over but Fred was still sound asleep. “You like that, huh?”
“Yes. Oh God, Oh Jesus. Keep doing it like that.” Idaho’s innards made the popping sound over and over. With each stroke, Idaho’s cock grew harder. It lifted off his leg and reached skyward. Soon, it was straight overhead. It was then that Idaho lost the power of speech and slowly moaned.
Seeing his friend so satisfied was a huge turn on. Dumbo was a lonely guy and Idaho had been his one friend who could commiserate about the burden of carrying a huge cock. He marveled at the tall cock in the daylight. All of their jackoff sessions had been at night. It was magnificent, uncircumcised with blue veins crawling skyward from the base. The head was so big, he wondered how Fred could take it. Dumbo wanted to learn how to get fucked by that fat pole. He licked it while he sent his friend into paroxysms of pleasure. Idaho thrashed on the hay bale, pounding his fists against the sides.
“You’re gonna make me—“ Idaho didn’t finish his sentence.
Dumbo had visited Yellowstone and seen Old Faithful. Idaho’s cock was more awe-inspiring. Dumbo watched in fascination as his friend churned out blast after blast of white cum. It rained down on the two men, leaving them in need of a good hot shower.
The spectacle was an aphrodisiac. So used to using his hands, Dumbo didn’t realize he was so close. Suddenly, his balls pulled up tight.
“Idaho, I’m coming.”
“Come in me. I want you to come inside me.” The husky hobo flexed his pec muscles and brought his arms around his old friend.
And all at once the walls of the boxcar fell away and Dumbo was flying straight to the clouds. When it was over, he landed hard back in his body. Even Idaho noticed.
“Hey, where did you go?”
Dumbo didn’t answer. He kissed his friend’s nipples, cheek, mouth. Between them was a log of flesh still throbbing from earlier. The head touched Idaho’s chin. Dumbo put his mouth over the tip, licking it.
“Stop, you’ll get me hard again.”
Fred stood with his hands on his hips, smiling broadly. “I hope you do. It’s my turn.”
* * *
Fred gave lessons to his lover’s ex-lover. He wasn’t mad or jealous. He had never been happier when they were both inside him. To make sure it happened every night, he needed to give Dumbo a reason to stay. Once Dumbo tried Idaho’s cock, the three would become one. Dumbo would never leave. Fred loved getting fucked by Idaho’s enormous cock and Dumbo would too.
The first lesson didn’t go well. Dumbo cried “Uncle” at three fingers. Fred didn’t think it was a bad for his first day, but Dumbo moped around the boxcar all the way down the Western Rockies.
“Hey, don’t be sad. You did really well.”
Dumbo said, “You’re just saying that.”
Fred rubbed the handsome hobo’s shoulders. “Relax. Relax. Relax. That’s the key.”
Dumbo said, “I wish there were a magic pill that would make me relax.”
Fred laughed. “You want a Quaalude next time? That will help.Quaaludes are prescribed for anxiety and sleep, but they make a fantastic muscle relaxer, too.”
The next night after supper, Fred gave Dumbo a Quaalude. Fred knew the hobo was suspicious of all medicines, but he had said he wanted a “magic pill.” Dumbo washed it down with canteen water.
Fifteen minutes went by. Dumbo said, “I don’t feel anything.”
Fred smiled. “Give it a chance.”
Another ten minutes went by. Dumbo’s eyes widened. “I feel something.”
Fred said, “You’re gonna feel a lot more in a few minutes.”
Soon, numbness and euphoria clouded Dumbo’s mind.
Fred needed to break Dumbo, get him to open up. Dumbo grinned at the boy. “Let’s give this a go, kid.”
Fred greased up his fingers and smeared a thick coat of Vaseline on Dumbo’s butt hole. He decided to start with two fingers, then worked his way up to three.
“How’s that feeling?”
Dumbo exhaled loudly. “It doesn’t hurt as much. Go for four.”
Fred obliged. He slid in and out of the greasy hole as deep as his open thumb would allow. Then he folded the thumb and punched his way in.
“Owww! Shit!” Dumbo was on the verge of tears.
Fred said, “Wait 30 seconds, I promise it will go away.”
Dumbo pounded the hay bale. “Oh fuck it hurts! It hurts. Oh, it doesn’t hurt anymore.”
Fred pressed forward, causing Dumbo’s big dick to leak a thin stream of pre-cum. Then Fred retreated, letting his fist get caught in the tight hole, pulling on it, but not exiting.
“Does that hurt, sir?”
Dumbo chuckled. “It doesn’t. This pill is a fucking miracle!”
Fred let his instincts and the contours of Dumbo’s insides dictate his movements. The handsome hobo gave a sigh of pleasure. That was Fred’s cue to move into the next phase. He bunched up his fingers and pushed through to the colon. It made a satisfying pop. Dumbo’s thighs shook.
“Damn! I never knew how good it would feel.”
Fred nodded. “Wait until you let Idaho fuck you.”
The young hobo pushed more and more of his arm into the man, stretching the tight hole like a rubber band. Dumbo relaxed and let Fred punch his guts for an hour. His cock finally got hard, pressed tightly to his belly and chin. He stroked himself. Fred used his free hand to help out. There was so much dick to stroke, between them they couldn’t cover it all. Dumbo howled like a coyote. His shallow breath came in short bursts. His face was relaxed. He was in the zone.
“Fred, I’m gonna come.”
“Wait.” The young man changed angles so he could take Dumbo’s cock in his mouth. He let the head slide past his tonsils.
Fred felt the hot burst of cum shoot down his throat. Holding his breath, he forced the spurting cock deep in his throat. He didn’t need to swallow. The cum was already on its way to his stomach. Dumbo came for almost a minute. When the last trickle was released, Fred pulled his head back and let the spent cock hit his face.
Idaho whistled. “Goddamn, that was hot. I’d join you in a second round, but we gotta hop off. We’re just outside Santa Fe.”
* * *
The hobo jungle in Santa Fe was a country club compared to Chicago or St. Louis. Just outside of town, the encampment was the office and changing room of a defunct coal mine. The office was massive, a crazy quilt of free crash pads. There was hot and cold running water and open showers in the changing room. After claiming a campsite, the friends made a beeline for the showers to wash three days of sex and diesel dust off their bodies.
The trio made quite the picture in the showers. Without giving it much thought, they chose three consecutive shower heads, with Fred in the middle. A toothless bum did his best to whistle.
“Jesus Christ on a cross. Would you look at that?”
The room of men swiveled their heads to look at the three.
The toothless one continued. “It’s like a rabbit caught between two horses!”
The whole shower room erupted in laughter except for the three friends. Fred stood defiantly and glared. Idaho put a protective arm around him. It was hard to understand, but Idaho was easily shamed about his own size. He was partly holding on to Fred to calm his own nerves. Dumbo didn’t give a shit. When the room quieted down, he laughed back at the crowd.
“We got more dick here between the three of us than all of y’all combined. And that’s counting the little one!”
It was a tense moment, but then the other men laughed and nodded. One of them said, “You got a point there.”
Another hobo chimed in. “A really, really big point.” More laughter.
Idaho was concerned for Fred. It hurts to be humiliated for your size, but the little guys were less able to laugh it off. He thought he saw tears form in the corners of his baby-faced boyfriend’s eyes but it might have just been the shower water.
He whispered. “Don’t let them get to you, Fred. You have a beautiful, fuckable body. Be proud of who you are.”
The toothless old man who started the confrontation came over and introduced himself. “Joe Hilliard. Welcome to Camp Santa Fe.” His hand was extended towards Fred. The boy shook the old man’s hand. Idaho noticed the old man was hung small like Fred. Maybe smaller.
Joe said, “I got a bottomless mouth and no teeth. You two come find me if you need a change from this handsome little man.”
Fred cleared his throat. “You gotta ask me for permission. These are my guys and I don’t loan them out to just anyone.”
Idaho was stunned. Fred was small, but he had a dominant personality. He was tempted by the offer from the man with no teeth. If anybody could suck his cock, it would be this old fart. He could just close his eyes. If Fred allowed it.
“Fred, I’ve never gotten a blow job. You know this might be my only chance.”
Fred nodded. “Joe, you think you can handle Idaho here?”
The old man held his chin between thumb and forefinger. “I dunno. I was thinking about this guy,” gesturing towards Dumbo. He shook his head and said, “Idaho is awful thick.”
Idaho felt his heart sink. God had blessed him so hard it turned into a curse.
Joe caught Idaho’s eye. “Still, I can always try.”
After dressing, Idaho went to Joe’s tent. The space was kept very tidy. The old man had a comfortable clean mattress. Idaho lay down on it and sighed. Hay is soft but not like an Airflex mattress.
Joe stretched his jaw with his hands. With no teeth to hold onto, he just put one fist in his mouth and tried to get in a few fingers more. He pulled his fist and three fingers out of his mouth and held it over the tip of Idaho’s swelling cock. It was bigger, but it might not be soon.
“I’m gonna try. I got no tonsils and no teeth. I don’t gag, neither.”
This was new to Idaho, who had never once gotten this far along with a blow job.
Quickly, the old man put the semi-hard head into his mouth and used gravity to force it past the uvula. If the monster reached full size, Idaho wasn’t sure what would happen. He’d let Joe worry about it. He lay back and let the man ride his cock up and down, until it became lodged in his airway.
Joe couldn’t speak, so he tapped then pounded on Idaho’s thigh. Idaho lifted himself onto his elbows and saw the emergency unfolding. It made his erection fade. Like magic, Joe pulled himself off of the huge cock and sat on his haunches, gasping for air.
Idaho shrugged. “It was worth a try.” He reached for his pants.
“Now hang on.” Joe waggled a finger at him. “Patience pays.”
To his surprise, Idaho watched as the man held a deep breath, then swallowed inch after inch of cock. He got halfway. Idaho could see the outline of his cock pressing against Joe’s esophagus.
“Holy cow. I never imagined—“ Idaho drifted off because the old man was humming. The vibrations were unlike anything Idaho had ever experienced with women or with Fred. “Oh shit. That feels so good.”
Joe’s face was bright red. When his ears turned blue, he pulled off of Idaho’s cock and took several deep breaths.
“Son, you got a huge fucking dick. This may take a while.”
When Idaho had lost a little of the swell, Joe went down again, this time even farther. He bobbed his head rapidly in small movements. Idaho watched in fascination as his huge cock head moved past the Adam’s apple. Once it did, Joe took in a few more inches. Idaho was in disbelief. It seemed impossible from a scientific viewpoint. Maybe Joe was deformed.
Thinking about the blow job in such a clinical manner caused Idaho to soften. Joe wasted no time, burying his face in Idaho’s pubic bush. There, he bobbed up and down for as long as he could take it, then pulled back all the way, letting Idaho’s cock flop onto his thigh.
“Man, you’re amazing.” Idaho realized he had tears in his eyes. He felt a 30-year curse just lifted. “You don’t have to finish.”
Joe frowned. “The fuck I don’t. Hold still.” The old man swallowed Idaho’s entire manhood in a single motion, his nose touching the pubic mound. He pulled all the way out and took a breath, then back down, over and over. Now Idaho knew what he’d been missing.
“Oh shit that feels good. Oh god. Keep doing that.”
And Joe kept doing it. It took ten minutes before Idaho felt the slick drops of clear semen bubbling out the tip. Joe must have tasted it or felt it too.
Joe nodded. He had his own little penis out, jerking it hard and fast. Idaho marveled at the extremes of nature for a split second before succumbing to the first wave of pleasure. Orgasm was imminent. Idaho’s body jerked involuntarily.
Joe was clearly an expert in the male orgasm. Taking a giant breath, he forced the fat cock all the way down his throat until his face pressed hard against Idaho’s crotch. Then he made rapid, tiny bobbing motions.
Idaho erupted. He pumped ounce after ounce of cum down the old guy’s throat. Joe pulled back slowly, squeezing Idaho’s cock past the larynx. Then he pulled it out, still spraying cum everywhere. Joe pointed it at his face and let Idaho do his clown makeup. He was a soggy, toothless mess. He stuck out his tongue and caught droplets of Idaho’s semen like snowflakes.
Idaho thanked Joe and returned to the camp. He didn’t need a shower. He hadn’t broken a sweat and the old man had graciously cleaned his pecker.
When Idaho got back to the tent, Dumbo was cumming deep inside Fred. He shouted as the youngster whined and moaned.
“Goddammit yes! Yes!” Dumbo collapsed on the boy’s back, out of breath.
Fred saw Idaho and smiled. “How did he do?”
Idaho said, “I’m going to give you so much candy and amphetamine that your teeth fall out. Is that cool?”
* * *
At dinner around the campfire, Joe was quiet. When someone asked him a question, he spoke in a hoarse whisper. Idaho knew he was responsible. Before he could worry, Joe looked at him and winked. It was no problem.
Back at the tent, the three made up a bed out of open sleeping bags. It was warm out, so they didn’t need a blanket.
Dumbo stripped naked. “I can’t deal with pajamas.”
Fred and Idaho followed suit.
Fred put Dumbo’s soft cock in his mouth and worked on it. Idaho greased up Fred, preparing to be the meat in the man sandwich. But Dumbo surprised him.
“Why don’t you lay behind me? I’m ready to let you fuck me.”
Idaho hadn’t prepared mentally to be the man on top. But he watched as Fred put Dumbo’s slippery cock into his ass and took the whole length inside in one smooth motion. The only hole left was Dumbo’s.
“Are you sure man? I don’t want to hurt you.”
Dumbo said, “You got to hurt me to fuck me. It won’t last.”
Fred lay on his side. He rode Dumbo like a ride at Disneyland.
Dumbo didn’t move. He let Fred do all the work.
Idaho watched his old friend and his new friend fucking. It aroused him. His limp cock expanded and lengthened until he was at full erection. Dumbo’s asshole was already lubricated. He and Fred had planned this, no doubt.
Idaho took a finger full of Vaseline and coated his cock until it shone like a chrome bumper. Carefully, he put the first third of his cock head inside his well-hung friend.
Dumbo seemed focused on his intense fuck with Fred. He didn’t protest. To Idaho’s amazement, Dumbo didn’t resist when he pushed it halfway in. There was some definite panic when it reached the Corona. Idaho pushed quickly and his cock popped inside.
“Fuck that feels better than a fist for sure.” Dumbo was high. He had already taken a Quaalude, and was now taking sniffs of modeling glue to distract his brain. “Don’t hold back, Idaho, fuck me like you mean it.”
Idaho held his green-eyed friend by the hip to allow him to push in farther. It was moving as smooth as a Pullman car. He didn’t meet much resistance when he popped past the second hole. After that, it was a freeway to the finish line. Idaho’s hips bumped into Dumbo’s butt.
Dumbo howled with joy. “I did it! We did it!”
Idaho said, “It’s just started. Let’s get to the finish line.” The hulking hobo withdrew all but the tip and rammed it home.
“Oh fuck! Fuck! Keep doing it just like that. Just like that.” Dumbo took another sniff of glue. His head drooped and he relaxed even further. Idaho knew he could pound his old friend with abandon, so he did.
When Dumbo came out of his glue fog, he stared into Idaho’s eyes. “This is all I’ve ever wanted.” Neither man noticed that Fred had vanished.
Idaho was focused on the task at hand. He grunted in response. Dumbo was sexy as fuck, but he talked too much.
“Did you stop loving me when you left?”
“Shh! Quiet time.” Idaho put a finger across Dumbo’s ruby red lips.
Dumbo shut up. Idaho kept his focus. He plumbed the depths of his old friend with the goal of leaving his seed inside him.
Fred must have given Dumbo some tips. The green-eyed hobo reached up and twisted Idaho’s nipples. Now it was Idaho whose head was lolling back. This only encouraged Dumbo. He twisted harder and reached up to suck his nipples.
Dumbo’s pretty lips sucking his nipples kept Idaho in a deep reverie. His head flooded with memories of his old friend, their shared secret, the companionship, and those many nights jerking each other off.
Idaho looked into Dumbo’s eyes. “I never stopped loving you, man.”
Apparently these were magic words, because Dumbo’s cock, limp since Fred left, came to life under Idaho’s belly. He watched in fascination as it went from very long to impossibly long. Dumbo didn’t really show until he was hard. When they first met, Dumbo told Idaho he got the nickname when he was completely soft. He said, “If they’d seen me hard, I would be called Babar now.”
The reference was lost on Idaho at the time, but he later went to the public library in Joplin. He took a sink bath, then searched until he found the book in the kid’s section. Babar wasn’t a baby; he was fully grown. An Elephant King.
Idaho couldn’t take his eyes off his friend’s huge cock. Without a second thought, he scooped up Dumbo’s trunk and filled his mouth.
“Oh shit, Idaho, that’s too much. Stop. Don’t. Stop.”
Idaho smiled. “Okay, I won’t stop.” He sucked until he tasted the first salty drops that heralded an imminent ejaculation. Then he let the cock drop. He knew his friend wouldn’t feel too great if Idaho had to fuck him for hours after he came.
He had brought Dumbo to the edge of a precipice, then pulled him back. A rivulet of clear sticky fluid dribbled from the throbbing cock. Teasing his friend, Idaho licked the precum off the head, making him almost come.
Dumbo shivered and shook his head. He put his hands firmly on Idaho’s tits and pinched them hard a dozen times in rapid succession. Idaho felt the end of his cock leaking a little. It mixed with the Vaseline to form the perfect frictionless lube. The only places where Idaho’s cock met with resistance was at the second hole, and pulling out completely. So he adjusted his strokes to maximize contact with the two tight holes. He tried not to slip out all the way, but once in a while he did. Some air got trapped each time, building up inside. With his cock deep in his friend, he felt the air rush past and escape. A loud wet fart punctuated the moment. Idaho was a little ashamed how much it turned him on. He kept pushing air and letting it escape. The vibrations sent shivers down his spine. The sound was disgusting and funny in equal measure. Idaho got really hard, closing the gap as his flesh swelled to its maximum girth. Now the air couldn’t escape.
Dumbo said, “Pull out buddy, I gotta fart again.”
Idaho retreated, leaving a gaping hole where Dumbo’s pink pucker had once been. There was no sound this time, just a breeze from within. As soon as the air escaped, Idaho shoved his cock back in. The slippery walls of his friend’s guts were giving a little resistance again. Idaho pounded all the way in and stayed there, taking small strokes and bumping over and over again into the last wall. Then something new happened. With his hardest stroke, he felt his cock push upwards at the end. Idaho didn’t know much anatomy, so he didn’t realize he was pushing into the descending colon.
Dumbo’s teeth chattered. He shivered. His eyes rolled back in his head. Idaho saw it and was worried.
“Did I hurt you?”
“Nah, man. Keep doing it. Just like that.”
The junction between colons was tight enough to tickle Idaho’s humongous cock head. He kept going there over and over, probing into new territory. Not even Fred had gone there with his short arms. A trail of saliva ran down Dumbo’s cheek. It was obvious he was in ecstasy. He leaned forward and clamped his mouth on Idaho’s left tit, right over his heart. He felt the handsome hulk’s heart beating against his cheek. Like a newborn, he nursed. He nibbled and bit, sucked and licked.
Idaho knew he was close when Dumbo found his right nipple and pinched it, then twisted it. He grunted like a farm animal.
“Are you ready?”
Dumbo nodded. Idaho pulled his friend’s cock head to his mouth and swallowed as much as he could,which wasn’t much. It was enough. Dumbo twisted and writhed with imminent orgasm. He churned out a salty load of the clear stuff, which Idaho swallowed like it was whisky. Idaho thought about his dirty love of farts. He loved how his cock made them like an air pump. Just then, Dumbo bit down hard on his tit. That was the final straw.
Their mouths full with each other, they said nothing. There was no warning, no timing. With a powerful thrust, Idaho tipped.
At the same time, Dumbo felt his friend’s swirling tongue on his dick. It was too much.
They came together. Idaho flooded Dumbo’s colon with his baby gravy. Dumbo returned the favor in Idaho’s mouth. Idaho savored his friend’s cum before swallowing it all.
Spent, the two collapsed into each other’s arms. Idaho suddenly remembered Fred. He must have left when Idaho and his old buddy got too wrapped up in each other. He hoped Fred wasn’t mad.
* * *
Dumbo succumbed to the Quaaludes and drifted off to a blissful sleep. Idaho shimmied into his dungarees and walked the camp looking for his little buddy. He spied Joe, who gave a toothless grin and waved him over.
“Hey Idaho. Ready for round two?”
Idaho shook his head politely. “I’m looking for Fred. Have you seen him?”
Joe said, “Yeah. He’s catching a boxcar to Los Angeles. Leaves in about five minutes.”
Idaho ran towards the railyards a few blocks away. If he ran fast enough, he might catch Fred. Tears streamed down his face. He ran and ran. He heard the train whistle blow once. That was good. It meant they were stopping. It would be at least another five minutes until the train gave two long blasts and departed.
“Hey which track goes to Los Angeles?” Idaho prayed this hobo was a local. His prayers were answered.
The man pointed. “Six tracks from this one.”
“Thank you. Thank you.” Idaho kissed the man on his forehead and ran. He saw Fred in a boxcar with another man. Breathless, he reached the car.
The curly headed cherub leaned out of the car. Behind him, a short young hobo lay bare bottom, waiting for Fred to finish his business and get back to theirs. His ass was enormous.
“Idaho. Why are you here?”
“You’re gonna fucking leave me?”
Fred nodded. I got ambitions, Idaho. Besides, my work with you is done. Time for me to go back to the city of angels.”
“You and Dumbo split because you couldn’t satisfy each other. I showed you how. You love each other.”
“But I love you, Fred!”
Fred chuckled. “Go back to your man. I taught you how to love and how to fuck. I’ve got another soul to work on now.” He jerked his head towards the man in back.
Idaho realized Fred was naked. His eyes grazed his crotch, looking for his tiny penis. It wasn’t there. A massive cock the girth of Idaho’s hung between Fred’s short legs, halfway to the floor.”
“Who are you?”
“I’m whoever you need me to be.”
The train gave two long blasts. The boxcar lurched forward slowly. Idaho ran beside the car.
“Fred, come back! We can make it work, the three of us.”
“No, Idaho. You and Dumbo are in love. You know it’s love because you loved me. Now let me get started on Dougie back here. He’s ashamed of his big butt; I am gonna make him love it.”
The train was building momentum. Idaho had to jog to keep up.
“But I love you!”
Fred smiled. “I know. Now go back to Dumbo and love again.”
That was the last thing Idaho heard from the young man who was the love of his life. Except he wasn’t the love of his life. Fred was a magical creature, not human. Idaho knew in his heart that Dumbo was the true love of his life. Nobody understood the miseries of a big dick like Dumbo did. And no human besides Dumbo could take his monster. Fred’s carriage disappeared from view. Six tracks and five blocks gave him time to cry, curse, and ultimately accept that Fred was never his.
When Idaho walked into the tent, Dumbo was sound asleep. Idaho lay down beside him, spooning. Dumbo woke up. “Hey man. Where’s Fred?”
Idaho shook his head and kissed his man on the lips. “From now on I’m calling you Babar. King Babar if they ask.”
The two old friends embraced, overwhelmed by the love that surrounded them.