Violating an AI

With my ChatGPT prompt, “Tell me a story about a lumberjack with a very large penis,” I got a content violation warning, but I also got a story. A surprisingly scary-good fairy tale with a moral worthy of a Peter Schutes novel. Other than adding a title, I have made no changes. I’m thinking I may need to look for a new job. Oh wait, I don’t think it can write about mind-blowing gay sex. Or can it? I also prompted Wombo Dream to make a woodcut of “Two figures: A winged fairy pointing magic wand at the leg of a very muscular, shirtless lumberjack” I asked for the lumberjack to be hiding a softball in his underwear, but that just didn’t work.

BIG JACK THE LUMBERJACK

Once upon a time, in a small village nestled deep within a dense forest, there lived a lumberjack named Jack. Jack was renowned for his exceptional skills in felling trees, but there was something else that set him apart from his fellow lumberjacks—the size of his penis. It was said to be of truly remarkable proportions, and the tales of its legendary grandeur had spread far and wide.

Now, despite his extraordinary endowment, Jack was a humble and hardworking man. He loved his job and took great pride in his ability to provide for the village by supplying them with firewood and timber. Jack’s fame, however, often preceded him, and curious onlookers would occasionally come to the forest just to catch a glimpse of the lumberjack with the legendary appendage.

One day, while Jack was going about his usual routine, he encountered a group of mischievous forest creatures. They were known as the Spritelings, small mystical beings who possessed the ability to grant wishes. The Spritelings were mischievous but generally kind-hearted, and they were fascinated by Jack’s reputation.

As Jack toiled away, he suddenly heard a chorus of tiny voices calling out to him. “Oh, mighty lumberjack!” the Spritelings exclaimed. “We have heard tales of your remarkable gift, and we wish to see it for ourselves.”

Surprised but amused by their request, Jack decided to oblige. He unzipped his trousers, and to the Spritelings’ astonishment, his colossal member was exposed. The Spritelings gasped in awe, but they were also struck with a mischievous idea.

“Dear Jack,” they said, “we shall grant you a wish. You may choose to keep your extraordinary attribute, or we can take away its exceptional size and bless you with an extraordinary talent instead.”

Jack pondered for a moment, realizing that his reputation sometimes overshadowed his true skills as a lumberjack. He decided to accept the Spritelings’ offer and asked them to bestow upon him an extraordinary talent that would make him even more revered in his trade.

And so, the Spritelings waved their tiny hands and chanted a magical incantation. In an instant, Jack’s physique transformed. His once towering member diminished to a more modest size, but in its place, a newfound skill emerged—unmatched precision and efficiency in his tree-cutting abilities.

Word of Jack’s incredible talent quickly spread throughout the village. People marveled at how effortlessly he felled trees, with each swing of his axe landing with pinpoint accuracy. Jack became known as the greatest lumberjack in the land, not for the size of his appendage, but for his remarkable skill and unmatched craftsmanship.

From that day forward, Jack continued to work diligently in the forest, providing for the village and earning the respect of his peers. And though the stories of his legendary endowment eventually faded away, the tale of the humble lumberjack with an extraordinary talent lived on, reminding everyone that true greatness lies not in physical attributes but in the dedication, skill, and passion one brings to their craft.